My father had grown up poor. He and his family had always struggled financially. And, at a very young age, he was forced to take on responsibilities that no child should ever be burdened with. As a result, he missed out on some of the enriching cultural experiences of his wealthier peers.
So, when me and my brothers came along, my dad made sure that we had the best of everything. He was no longer the poor little boy who lived in New Orleans' 7th ward. He was now a man, with a college degree and a great job, and his son [Eric (me)] was gonna get the best voice teacher that money could buy. After all, "You get what you pay for," he would always say.
Why the random info on my dad? Well, I want you to understand a point that confuses some of my close friends to this day: You see, in the beginning my dad never really supported me when it came to my singing... in fact he could often be quite discouraging. Even after spending all of that money on my voice lessons, my dad was adamantly opposed to me pursuing it any further than as a hobby. Spending all of that money on training with top of the line professional voice teachers was more a matter of his pride, or fatherly duty, than his faith in me. ...And then there was my mom... She was very neutral in the beginning. I think that she was well aware of just how much singing meant to me... and it worried her. On the one hand, she knew that I had talent; On the other, she wanted her son to have a stable career - something that guaranteed a paycheck. "Musician" was synonymous with "poor", when it came to my parents vocabulary.
But ultimately in their minds, the whole "Eric being a singer thing" was a minor concern - just a phase. Like I said before, I had accepted a full academic scholarship to Xavier University (both of my parents' alma matter), and I was going to be a doctor... or something like that. I had a long 16 year history of being a parent pleasing nerd - straight A's, highest test scores in the school, glowing letters of recommendation. Everybody knew me as Eric, "the smart guy." But I wanted so badly for them to see Eric, "the singer."
... Part of me still wanted to be that guy for everyone... You know, that young black guy who makes up for what all the other young black guys aren't doing. I had been chosen. I had a responsibility to go become a doctor or a lawyer - something big. I had an obligation to choose a boast-worthy job, that would give my parents bragging rights... A job suitable for a smart guy like me.
But the thought of going to a passionless desk job every day, nearly brought me to tears. I had to sing. There was one final Audition for Xavier's Music dept, and I had made up my mind that I was going!
So, on the day of that audition I boldly went before my parents, looked them right in the eye and said... "I'm going to Darrell's house to chill for a lil while." ... Ok, so I wasn't exactly feeling my bravest. I was afraid to tell them the truth. If I didn't make it, I didn't want them rubbing it in my face. I'd rather audition in secret, so I lied. Well, technically, it wasn't a lie. I did go to-my best friend-Darrell's house... to practice; I then went from his house to Xavier University to audition.
And it was, without a doubt, the most nerve wracking experience of my life (And I lived through hurricane Katrina, lol).
When I arrived on campus, I was so intimidated by the huge castle-like structure. The music dept building had a medieval quality to it that gave me this feeling of impending doom. I went into the main office and saw a room full of staff(about 6 guys), but no students. ..."Maybe I just missed the auditions," I thought... "I am kinda late"... "Oh well, guess I should just go back home."...Yeah, I was definitely feelin' chicken at this moment. Somehow I managed to choke out, "Are you still holding auditions." "Yes, this is the place," said this old strange looking man. They all seemed excited, and they eagerly lead me upstairs to the recital hall.
The hall was huge, and towards the center of the room was a grand piano. The men took seats directly in front of the piano, and I realized that i'd never had an audience so physically close to me before. "The better to scrutinize me," I thought. ...I just remember feeling so insanely nervous... I had NEVER auditioned for ANYTHING before. "So what are you gonna sing for us," one of the men asked. He spoke very confidently, as if he was the leader. There was something in his manor that seemed encouraging though, as if he genuinely wanted me to do well. "So just like that, I'm supposed to start singing," I thought. It was happening so quickly. I suddenly wanted to run out of the building and never return again; I just felt like I was in way over my head. "What the hell made me think that I could do this?" I asked myself. But I was there, and there was no turning back.
"When I fall in love... I'm going to sing 'When I Fall In Love'," I replied. One of the men immediately arose from his seat and sat down behind the piano. "I know that song; What key?"...I had no idea what key... I didn't know what any key was... I had no music theory training whatsoever, at that point. I guess he could see the confusion and embarrassment on my face."Just start singing," He said," I'll find you."
So I did... I was surprised to find myself sounding only PAINFULLY average, but not altogether bad. To their well trained ears, I knew it had to suck, but I knew I wasn't the worst. Then disaster struck, when I cracked... loudly... on the word "FEEL" at the climax of the song. The nervousness just took over, and I could feel my throat becoming drier and tighter, until it just closed.
...To my surprise, there was no flinching amongst the staff; no laughing, not even a snicker or a muffled giggle. They just seemed ...interested... as if they were studying me. When I was done, they clapped. One of the men even had a broad smile upon his face - not a taunting smile. It was a smile of approval. I let myself relax a little as they asked me to sing my second song, "Amazing Grace." It went much better, and I was relieved. I wasn't amazing, but it was ok. I felt accomplished (it could've gone a lot worse), and I was already giving myself an "It's ok if you don't make it" pep talk. So I was caught off guard, when they asked me to sit down. I was unanimously accepted by the board, and I was offered a vocal scholarship. "Is this really happening," I thought. "Maybe I sounded better than I thought I did." But the joke was on me. These guys were well aware of just how badly I sucked. But they could see potential in me. They were studying me the whole time, assessing my faults and what they could do to help me improve. They weren't looking for a star. They were looking for someone who was ready and willing to learn. Cuz they knew the secret: Great singers are made, not born. And they were about to give me a serious vocal makeover....
Read Chapter 4: “The First Day Of Class”